What is Love?

I wrote this expository essay for a college English class. For a long time, the professor had it posted on his website, but due to web changes (and passing time), it has since been removed. Now I present it here.

The reason I chose this topic can be attributed to my intrigue with the definition of the word "love" -- which, incidently, the characters in Plato's The Symposium contemplated. In this paper, I present many different definitions of love including my own. While discussing these different views, which includes Humanistic and Christian perspectives, I highlight something they all share in common.

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Love is an often used word in our daily language. We may say we "love someone" or "we love to do something," yet our expressions for these things may tend to be different than someone else's. In Plato's book,The Symposium, many of the characters offered their own responses to the question of "What is love?" Frequency in usage of this word has made it difficult for it to be defined in just one word or in just one sentence; Webster defines love in more than nine different ways. Due to this wide scope in meaning, I will avoid any attempt to explain what love actually is or is not, I will only attempt to describe some of the differences that do exist and offer my own interpretation of what love means.

Through personal investigation, I have concluded that perhaps there is something all definitions of love share in common, and that is that love is an "object" or "condition" of which we all strive to attain in order to fulfill some void that exists in our lives. Throughout our existence we are continually searching for something to fulfill our needs and grant us happiness. People often ask themselves, "What is the purpose of life?" I believe it is this quest to find purpose and, therefore, true happiness which is at the root of real love.

Depending on who you ask, an answer to the question of "What is love?" can range from being an ideal state or absolute condition which Socrates expressed in Plato's The Symposium to a more relative state or condition involving joy and excitement.

To illustrate this second love of relativity, I offer the analogy of baseball. When a man says, "I love baseball!" he may mean he likes to play the sport, or he may enjoy watching it on TV or going to a ballpark and watching it in person. Possibly, he loves it for the many things that surround the game like the ballpark hot dogs served at the stadium or because it reminds him of his childhood playing with his friends in the old sandlots. Whose to say? The point is he likes spending time involved in the game and the degree of love he attains from this sport may be greater or less than someone else's.

Love can also be found through intimate relationships with others. In Plato's The Symposium, one of the guests at the dinner party, Pausanias, believes that love exists in two forms. One of these types is what he calls a Base Love which is described as an attraction for one another that is physically based, self-centered, and temporary. I believe that many people today who expect to find love, settle for this limited form of expression in their intimate relationships. When they experience anything resembling true love, they call it that and take in as much of the moment as they can.

For example, I know someone who has been dating a guy for a little over a month. On Valentine's Day, as an attempt to maximize the experience, she resolved herself into believing that she was in love with him so that the moment would seem more meaningful. Many people may express strong feelings of unity and trust toward one another through intimacy. Later, they may discover that the bond was held together only by a thin strand of lust that soon broke apart leaving behind nothing else worth preserving. Perhaps this temporary love can explain why many marriages today lead in divorce. While I would agree one could define this as love, such as when two "make love," I would more narrowly categorize it as being a relatively superficial one at best.

The other love defined by Pausanias is called a Higher Love. He describes it as a higher spiritual relationship between two people--often not involving physical intimacy--that becomes more meaningful, uncompromising and more permanent than the aforementioned one. This type of intimacy can involve close friends who share with one another personal feelings and offer emotional support, or the relationship a father may have with his child.

Plato's Socrates describes a higher love as well, which he regards as absolute. It is perceived to be a pure knowledge and insight that can be found somewhere between mortality and immortality -- a great spirit which bridges the gap between man and the gods preventing them from separating entirely. This bridge offers man the fulfillment that he has been longing for.

A similar conception of absolute love is held by The Christian worldview. Christianity also perceives love as expressed in the form of a spiritual bridge by which union between God and man is made possible. However, unlike Socrates, who dismisses this spirit love as deity, Christians believe it is a power of divine origin. This divine power is acknowledged as the Holy Spirit which was granted as a gift from God, the Father, and offered through His Son, Jesus Christ.

According to the Christian faith, man is born sinful and therefore separated from a perfect and holy God. Because of this, we cannot experience God's absolute love. As the Bible says, "For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God" (Romans 3:23). But it was Jesus, a sinless and perfect man, who demonstrated God's intense love and grace by dying on a cross to pay for all of the world's sins so that we may receive God's Holy Spirit that enables man to love (Romans 5:8). Phaedrus , one of the men in Plato's book, defined true love as the unselfish act of sacrificing one's own life for another. If Phaedrus knew of what the man called the Messiah did for all humanity, I am confident he would consider Jesus as possessing this great love.

Just as the Priest said in the movie, Jesus of Montreal, what has made Christianity so appealing to so many people throughout history is that God's love is made available to those who are in need of love. God's love can be illustrated simply by a passage in the Bible which reads: "For God loved the world so much that he gave his only Son so that anyone who believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life" (John 3:16).

It is this idea of a higher divine love which is shared by many of the Humanistic view expressed in Plato's The Symposium, as well as the Christian view, for which I share. However, there is a difference worth noting before illustrating further common areas between these two beliefs. Many of Plato's characters present at the dinner party feel the meaning of love is attributed to the Greek god of Love while the Christian view of love is attributed to only one true Almighty God -- the God of all gods, the Lord of all lords, and the King of all kings. Once that distinction is recognized, similarities of both "schools of thought," if you will, can be drawn in comparison to love coming from a higher, immortal being.

Throughout our lives, we are always trying to fulfill our need of love through lesser means than a perfect love; that is what makes us sinful, according to the Christian perspective, and unable to reach the richest love of all found in God; "For the wages of sin is death" (spiritual separation from God) (Romans 6:23). Some try to achieve happiness, as I said early, through activities like baseball or intimate relationships with other people. Yet, according to Plato's Agathon: "[N]o pleasure is stronger than Love. . . If then all pleasures are weaker than Love, Love must be the master and they his subjects." (p. 70) By replacing the polytheistic Greek god of Love with the monotheistic Christian God, Agathon's statement would be shared by Christians. Therefore, finding a higher authentic love means overpowering these weaknesses of ours, thus rendering the aforementioned expressions of love centered on objects or actions as incomplete and less meaningful.

In support of finding this higher superior love, Plato's Aristophanes advises we strictly obey the god of Love. He proclaimed: "Let no man set himself in opposition to Love. . . for if we are his friends and make our peace with him, we shall succeed, as few at present succeed, in finding the person to love who in the strictest sense belongs to us. . . . (p. 64-65)

In the Christian view, Love is represented in Jesus Christ who seeks to protect, care, and redeem us all. In order to experience Christ's love, one must admit he or she is sinful and receive Christ into their lives. Once a relationship has been created, Christ will forgive our admitted sins so we may experience forgiveness and the happiness that follows. Aristophanes explains this point in his own humanistic perspective:

". . . if we conduct ourselves well in the sight of heaven, [Love] will hereafter make us blessed and happy by restoring us to our former state and healing our wounds." (p. 64-65)

I conclude, therefore, that once we experience this absolute love of God, we have thus fulfilled that for which we have always been searching. For Christ said, "I came that they might have life, and might have it abundantly" -- that it might be full and meaningful (John 10:10). Again, I believe this source of overflowing life is through the Holy Spirit. (See John 7:37-39.)

In regards to finding love through intimate relationships, I believe that partners can decide either of the two loves that Pausanias described. Those who decide to fulfill their need for happiness instantly would be more inclined to pursue a carefree "no strings attached" relationship characteristic of a Base Love. On the other hand, those who believe that maximum fulfillment can come from a Higher Love may instead choose a more meaningful, longer lasting commitment, possibly through marriage. Still, if neither of these forms satisfies one's definition of love, one may decide to yield their lives to the highest form of love -- an absolute love involving an intimate relationship with God.

While love can be defined in many different ways -- whether one is a fundamental Christian, a fundamental Humanist, or an agnostic --absolute love is truly real and powerful. Some, such as Phaedrus, even say that it is worth dying for. Once it is identified to be either pure wisdom or divine knowledge, or perhaps great happiness and inner peace, it is something each of us has a yearning to possess in our lives.